Not playing the dating game

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Here’s why I refuse to play dating games, and I always will: It’s exhausting. I hate the fact that if a guy I’m into texts me and I’m around and can respond right away, I’m encouraged not to because then I’m “too available.” The reality is that I’m legit laying on the couch in my pajamas, binge watching Netflix — but yes, I should definitely lie and pretend I’m too busy for him. I’d rather be upfront and honest right from the beginning.

Don’t wait for them to “find out naturally.” It is setting a trap for them. If you already date with authenticity it may be time to go talk to a Psychotherapist and see what holds you back. Your real power comes from your ability to choose who you want to love instead of placing the fate of your love-life into the hands of some super power.

Plus, if I don’t make it clear, he can easily swipe someone else who will. We deserve what we want, and we don’t need to sugarcoat it. We live in a modern, allegedly more evolved world, and yet we’re still holding onto the ancient logic we still need to take part in some long, drawn out (not to mention fake) mating ritual to keep a potential partner interested. Do as you say and say as you do, or get the hell out of my way.

We shouldn’t need to hide behind cryptic words and dishonest availability to lure a man into caring about us. There’s nothing natural about carefully strategized response times and playing coy. I’m not a kid anymore and I shouldn’t have to put up with this. Playing unnecessary games only leads people to overanalyze situations that really don’t need to be dissected, and you can end up reading things the wrong way. If you start things off by being honest and direct about how you’re feeling and what you want, there’s never a chance for the BS to freaking out waiting for him to text back for hours?

There are the social norms of not harassing or abusing on dates which are really important. Now, ask yourself: What do you really want to say and really want to do? We are all needy and judgmental, and if you’re not, then you won’t be in a real relationship.) Guess what? For example: I want _______ because _______ means _______ to me. For me, I experience _______ like_______ because_______ .

But other dating games can end up suppressing a person’s own intuition and desires, like when daters try to be the fantasy people they assume is idealized in the other’s mind. So many times people don’t want to appear needy or judgmental, and so they act like someone they’re not. Eventually, inevitably, you will be found out; and then it really hurts to lose the person after they discover that you both don’t want the same thing. Worst thing you can do is blindly agree to be or do whatever the other person wants, just to avoid conflict.

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