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“In most instances, the biggest difference between the sexes and dating is how much more active you have to be as a guy,” says Notas.
“Men have to be the one to pick the place and create a fun dynamic of getting her excited and feeling comfortable.
[The women] always ask me what I do for a living, if I wanna get married and leave the city, and it’s so exhausting.” But while some dudes lament their confirmed player status, Notas says there’s actually value in being a womanizer.
“A lot of marital troubles and divorce stem from people settling in relationships that aren’t compatible for them,” says Notas.
“I sometimes hate dating in NYC because it’s like a job interview.“Everywhere you go, you’ll be with one girl, but then you see another beautiful girl, and suddenly your mind can go elsewhere …We all want the next best thing.” Tech inventor Ben Way, who moved to the Upper East Side from the UK, has also felt the pressure to stay single, since most of his friends aren’t in relationships — and blames this partly on American culture.“Meanwhile, all my single guy friends love their freedom and tell me to keep dating, too.” Like Garofola, he finds the city’s surplus of datable women to be a con — not a pro — when it comes to finding a potential mate.“There’s temptation everywhere,” says Borich, who finds most of his dates through Bumble, Happn and Plenty Of Fish.